When I visited Nashville as a tourist and country music fan back in 1997, we made sure to visit the Ryman Auditorium and catch a showing of the Grand Ole Opry out at the Opry House before we left. It was a total highlight of the trip. We (my parents and I) went to see the OPRY.

Almost ten years later, my parents and I were back at the Opry… this time we were there to see my husband perform with the artist he was working for at the time. We all kept laughing and I was going, “Who knew it would be ten years before we came back… and that we’d be here to see my HUSBAND!” It was a total surreal, pinch yourself, evening.

I hoped deep down that some day I’d get to be backstage of the Opry, but none of the artists my husband played for ever had room on the guest list for me to get to go. And that was okay! I didn’t even ask after the first couple of tries. I finally got to see the backstage of the Opry when I took a tour with a friend visiting from out of town. As we walked around backstage, I marveled at it all. These were the halls where so many music greats had walked. There was so much history there!

A few years later, my husband went to work for an artist that suddenly DID have room on their guest list. I still remember pinching myself as I walked into the “Artist’s Entrance” of the Grand Ole Opry. I found great amusement in the fact that I was wearing the heels I had bought to wear to my Senior prom that night. Oh how far they had come!

I soaked it all in… every sight, smell and sound. There was my name on security’s list as an approved visitor. I found myself standing beside some of country’s greats, many smiling and nodding as you passed in the hallway. This couldn’t be real! I was dreaming, right? I was amazing! More than I could have ever asked for it to be.

The May 2010 flood broke my heart into a million pieces when photos of the Opry House underwater came out. I felt like someone has punched me in the stomach to see so much water covering such a special area.

When the remodeling was done, I was itching to see all that had been done. When the opportunity came to do so, I was ecstatic to find it warmer, a little bit “fancier” but still completely true to the Grand Ole Opry’s essence.  Everyone was just so happy to be back. I found myself in a fabulous conversation with a long-time Opry member in the bathroom as we exclaimed over how pretty it all was. We laughed at how they switched the men’s and women’s restrooms in the remodel, and we both wondered how many people would go into the wrong room out of habit. (I’m STILL almost making this mistake!)

Any time I get the chance to visit the Opry, it feels like getting a great big hug. It’s a place I feel so lucky and honored to get to visit, but it’s also a place that’s come to feel like another family. I savor every second I am there, knowing that there is never REALLY a guarantee that the opportunity to come back will be there. Life is funny that way, and I never just assume there will be a “next time.” But, for as long as I get to go, it’s one of those really cool “perks” of being a Road Widow (at least in the country music genre). One of those moments where you go, “This life really is pretty darn cool.”

I might have to one-up you…  During my husbands current tour, we received a foster child!  Our first child ever: a 5-month old baby boy.  We weren’t expecting us receive a child until after all of Dan’s touring  but they needed us and we accepted the call.  He is an amazing baby!  Since I’ve never had a child before I’ve gotten a lot just fine.  I’ve learned how to bottle feed and soothe a baby to sleep.  I’ve had visitors and presents and loads of laundry to do.  So far, it’s all I know.  I got the little guy on Wednesday and fell in love with him by Thursday and my heart BURSTS any minute I’m not with him.

My husband is so excited.  He’s been asking for pictures and video and I’ve been sending it to him non-stop.  We also had a Skype video-chat session once.  My husband is flying home from Nashville and gets home in about an hour.  I cant wait for him to meet our boy!

So…. tell me your stories!  What’s the craziest thing that’s happened during tour?

See. Isn’t he annoying??

When you have a husband who travels a lot, some things just don’t make sense to unpack. I get it. I’m practical. But it doesn’t mean I have to like it!

Now I will say he’s pretty good about his suitcase and laundry. It’s just his toiletry bag. All those little bathroom things that are just plain stupid to unpack, just to pack again. But does it have to sit on the bathroom counter taking up precious space and taunting me?

I bet we all have things we dislike when our guys come home from the road. It’s those things that are a constant reminder of the inevitable. The thing that stares us in the eye and tells us “he’s leaving again you know.” Well this little, black toiletry bag is mine. It’s a major celebration when he is put away for an indefinite amount of time because that means my husband isn’t going anywhere anytime soon!

So, now you know my enemy … who’s yours?

I’ll be honest, my excitement about this idea could not be contained as they discussed the possibility. Through the years, I’ve lamented that group splintering. They were incredible together! A unique on-stage chemistry existed with them that doesn’t happen very often. An added bonus was that off stage, they were all as close as brothers.

It got me thinking about the various artists my husband has worked for, and the road families that each one has brought to our lives — the people that my husband worked beside, and lived with at times more than he did with me. I, myself, grew to love each and every one of those characters, and with the end of his time with each group — be the end voluntary or involuntary — a deep sadness could be felt as that connection was severed with them.

Today, I watch awards shows primarily to scan the bands, looking for old familiar faces. Old friends — old road family — from days past. I will cheer out loud (and on Twitter) when I see one in the spotlight. Any time my husband shares the stage for ANY reason with an old band mate, my heart smiles. Its like a little family reunion each time!

Will this band reunion happen? Hard to say. Too many logistics to figure out right now to know. But I want it to happen more than anyone knows. One amazing night with old friends road family? Yes, please!

My gift,  my “memory”, is spending two weeks with him here in Arizona between two long tours.  The band members flew home so it’s just the two of us in the van.  He built a queen sized bunk in the back (which we’ve slept on a couple times and it wasn’t too bad) but we have plans of a few hotels, a few friends’ guest rooms, and camping at Grand Canyon park.  I dont know what these two weeks will hold.  I know that we are just happy to be with one another.

I want to hear from our readers:  Have you ever toured with your musician?  Or spent any time out on the road?  Do you love it?  Hate it?  Did it change your perspective of the job?  Are there other girlfriends/boyfriends/spouses that tour with the band while you stay home?

We got engaged on Christmas Eve, and I had no idea it was about to happen. So when the questions started to come within days, (like, “When are you going to get married?”) I was caught more than a little off guard!

Ultimately, though, my decision about when we would get married was based entirely on my new fiance’s job.

“Probably early January,” I remember saying.

Why on Earth would I pick right after Christmas? What about the weather?

I explained it was the only time of the year I could feel certain my groom wouldn’t have to take off time for his wedding. Its rare for artists to go out the first couple weeks of January, so I felt secure it wouldn’t be an issue.

We originally wanted the second weekend of January, but the venue we wanted was already booked. So we took the first weekend instead, and all year we planned with the hope that my groom wouldn’t miss any work for our wedding.

Our date change was a blessing in more ways than one. Not only was my new husband already on the road that next weekend, but the place where we got married had a freak ice storm that shut down the airports and made roads impassable!

Ever since our wedding we’ve only had ONE anniversary where my husband had bus call. Otherwise, we’ve gotten to spend our day together..

I’m sure plenty of musician’s brides-to-be would think I was crazy planning our wedding around his job… after all, his job dictates enough of our life together, why let the job have that, too? But I wouldn’t change a thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love a Spring or Summer wedding as much as everyone else, but the only stress we had regarding my groom’s job the week of the wedding was that he had to miss a few rehearsals (which was not a big deal). None of my husband’s groomsmen had to cancel due to their own road gigs having shows. Band mates were able to come celebrate our day with us. There were no worries about a sub doing the job okay. It was a no-job-stress zone. It was wonderful.

So, if anything, by setting our date as we did, we were able to make our day even more OUR day!

I’d love to hear other road widows’ wedding juggles due to “the job”… Anyone else plan around the schedule? Or were you able to make it work to get that perfect wedding date?

The holidays flew by and my once bustling, brilliant, pine-scented existence is now quiet. Here I am with a un-adorned home, rainy weather, and a husband who’s going to be traveling non-stop for almost three months. He’ll miss tax season and Valentines Day (which we don’t celebrate anyway), all the hang outs with friends and our weekly date night. It’s a bit overwhelming.

We have made an effort to spend a lot of time with friends over the last few weeks. Since we dont have family close, it’s important for us to stay connected to our community.  I wrote in my first post here at RoadWidows about how I dealt with all the changes in my life, the most major being that my husband went from working full time just 3 miles from our house to traveling in a touring band.  I was sad and embarassed about our situation and,

“I started to find myself ignoring my close friends and hanging out with people who knew very little of my personal life.  I was escaping the reality that I wasn’t happy with my life.”

That was two years ago.  I am much more content with my life.  I have learned the importance of sharing my life with others in a deeper way than what I was comfortable with.  It’s so important to find friends you can talk to.  I have become much closer with the people in my life who are apathetic, and at the same time, support of our situation.  I like to be with people who ask about him, where he is and how I’m doing.  While my husband is away, I have made a rule for myself:  I will only spend time with my friends who know and love my husband and who respect our marriage.  While he’s away, I will not spend time [alone] with someone who hasn’t spent a lot of time with Dan.  It’s important to me that we maintain our identity as a couple – even when he’s traveling.

What do you do to stay connected to your friends?  Do they support your situation?  Does your travelling-significant-other stay connected to your community as well?

And sure, my husband isn’t here to spend New Year’s Eve with my daughter, parents and I (he’s in Boston playing a show). But who cares. Life is good.

I have a beautiful family. The most perfect little girl. An amazing husband. A loving and supportive marriage. A house we love in a neighborhood we adore.  We are fortunate when many others are not and we have good health.

I could reflect on the year past and think of all the hard times. Be ready to just forget about it all and start new. But that’s not necessary. 2011 may have been a big time of transition for us – a time for reflection and soul searching. But even though it was hard, I wouldn’t erase it. Because it all had to happen in order for 2012 to happen. And I know good things await us in 2012.

But what I really know is that all that “stuff” from 2011 isn’t what it’s all about. We Road Widows spend so much time talking about “life on the road” and how that interferes with normal life. The hard times, the sorrows, the frustrations, the anger, the hurt. But in doing so, we often divert our focus from life that happens “off the road.” Life, love, family. That’s the good stuff.

So I’m ready. Bring it 2012. Show me what’s in store. I can’t wait!

Last trip of 2011!

This last weekend was one final “run” for my husband and many musicians here in Nashville. It seemed my Facebook page was nothing but posts like, “Heading out for three shows in four days! Last run of 2011!”

Friday night, I took my husband to the bus to head out for a show. Winter always means the schedule slows down considerably, and it felt weird to realize we hadn’t done bus call in a couple weeks. Even weirder, though, was knowing it would be several weeks before we did it again.

Having my husband home is always something of a double edged sword.

I absolutely LOVE having him home. Its a treat to not be flying solo at every gathering, to wake up together every day, and to not rely on our cell phones to stay in touch. We get the quality time together that we crave the weeks he’s gone on the road through the summer. Plans can be made, and every thing from a day relaxing at home to a night out on the town is cherished.

On the other hand, we’re both in the, “We can’t spend a single penny when off the road!” mode. Budgeting is never as vital as it is in the winter, since we find ourselves primarily living on the the money that we’ve saved up the last few months.

But… I choose not to focus on that. I welcomed the last run of the year with open arms. The next few weeks together will be wonderful! We have Christmas, New Years (which, my husband usually works but is off this year), and our wedding anniversary all coming up. And I am SO excited for all of them!

I don’t mind the road widow life, but I sure do enjoy having some time off from it, too.