I hope everyone had a very Happy Thanksgiving last week! I was lucky enough to get to spend it surrounded by family – including my husband. I know Road Widows who weren’t so lucky. They spent the holiday with their husband on the road. It’s one of those “pitfalls” of the job.
I’m willing to bet us Road Widows have spent a holiday or two or ten alone. Sometimes when happens to me, I wonder if any of the fans who are at the show ever realize their night of holiday entertainment has come at the expense of those musicians, crew, artist, etc. getting the same holiday luxury.
And I know they don’t… I sure didn’t back in the day! And that’s okay! I don’t REALLY want them to think of that. I just wonder it when I am in pouty-mode.
I remember our very first Thanksgiving as a married couple. It was my first time making a whole Thanksgiving dinner on my own – turkey, dressing, pumpkin pie, green beans, and… oh I forget what all at this point! I stayed up all night long cooking so we could eat an early meal Thanksgiving day. Why? Because my husband had bus call that afternoon.
We ate my feast, he grabbed his bags, and he took off for another show in another city in some other state. And I spent the day cleaning, watching football and napping on the couch. I knew I was lucky to have gotten at least enough time to eat together.
I’ve been extra lucky that that’s the ONLY Thanksgiving we’ve spent with the road “in the way.”
But here’s the thing I’ve learned the hard way the last several years: to be thankful for those days he’s on the road. Because it means another bill gets paid. Another trip to the grocery store. So just as much as I want to pout any time my husband is gone on a holiday or birthday or anniversary or any other special occasion, I also say, “Thanks.” Because you never realize how important ANY days out are… until they aren’t happening any more.
I am ALWAYS happy when I can have my husband with me when there’s something special going on, but I’m also grateful any time he has to work. It’s just called being okay with the life and taking it as it comes. It’s not always easy to get into that mindset. Sometimes you want to throw a big fit. But at the end of the day… it is what it is. It is the life.