About Lindsy

I'm Lindsy: photographer, mother and wife of a touring musician. I cant make up my mind most of the time but when I do it sticks. Like the time when I was 17 and I met this goofy guitarist with a heart of gold and knew I had to make him mine forever. Our life is chaotic but we are figuring it out, together. We are the proud parents of an amazing little boy. I literally do not know how to relax. I like running, yoga, vegetables, and a bunch of other stuff. You can read more on my Personal Blog: www.LMRphotos.com

Five of Friday: Perks to Being in Nashville

Since I just moved to Nashville I wanted to share the top 5 reasons we are here and the perks we’ve enjoyed!

photo via tripadvisor.com

photo via tripadvisor.com

1. LOCATION – Being in the far corner of the US (Seattle, WA) meant that tours were long. LA is a 12 hour drive, Nashville is an all day flight and the east coast might as well be the other side of the world. Nashville is a prime location for touring to the majority of this country’s big cities in just a day. I even drove up to Chicago to visit my in-laws and we plan to go back Easter weekend!

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photo via geology.com

2. SUPPORT – I’ve only been in Nashville for 6 weeks but I have met and hung out with dozens of road widows. The support from other women in this city has been overwhelming and awesome. It’s not that my friends back home aren’t or weren’t supportive! It’s just nice to have empathy rather than sympathy. 

3. COST OF LIVING – I’m finding that Nashville is a bit of the “Haves” and the “Have-Nots” and right now we’re the latter. But, in a city of starving musicians and artists, you can find deals galore! Cheap eats, affordable housing – this is the place for that.

4. OPPORTUNITIES – We’ve only been here SIX WEEKS and already my husband’s band has gotten some amazing opportunities that would not have happened if he were elsewhere. Being here and rubbing elbows with other musicians and industry-people gives him a huge advantage.

lybecker-concert

photo via instagram.com/lybeckermusic

5. THE WEATHER – The weather has been insane (examples: 40 degree spike in less than 12 hours, tornado warnings, ice storms, hot and muggy, you name it) but I’ve been outside almost everyday. No matter how lonely or out of place I have felt these past few weeks, sunshine and fresh air is good for the soul!

Nashvillians, what do you love about Nashville? What do you miss about your hometown? 

Five on Friday: Things You Should Not Do Before a Tour

1. Try not to fight. Kind of a no-brainer but the stress of an impending tour can make even the most seasoned road widows act like crazy brats. This is the last time you’re going to see each other for a while so don’t mess it up. Hopefully these next 4 tips will help…

2. Don’t hold in your feelings. “Holding it in” can result in a fight. All that pent up frustration comes out in the ugliest of ways. I truly believe that great communication is the key to a successful relationship. With communication comes honesty. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hold it in. If you need to have a cry, go for it. If you’re glad he’s leaving, tell him. Don’t expect anything from him. Men usually want to protect us (and some of them are just downright freaked out by our emotions) so he may not respond how you want him to. Just get it out there, then move on.

3. Don’t look at your phone. Seriously, try this one. You’re both stressed out before he leaves so put your phones on silent and try to connect. Even for a few hours… or minutes.

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4. Don’t leave laundry until the last minute. You’ll both be happier, and able to focus on each other, if he gets that bag packed a day or two in advance – and that means doing laundry a day or two in advance. My husband has actually taken damp jeans on the road. Not cool.

5. Don’t plan a party, an outing or anything else, really. Just spend some quality time together.

 

Do you have anything you WON’T or DON’T do before a tour?

A Sign

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While I was out an’ about in Nashville last week and this sign caught my eye. A message from a gas station is probably the last place I expected to find inspiration. But, there it was:A Sign

DON’T COUNT THE DAYS. MAKE THE DAYS COUNT.

I know I’ve heard it before but I saw it at just the time I needed. We just moved to Nashville, I’m a stay-at-home-mom for the first time and my husband is on his first “big” tour. His band is opening up for a few bigger bands and it’s the first time that he’s ever not been in control of his schedule. Naturally, I find myself counting the days until Dan gets home. Right before I saw this sign I was alone and trying to navigate my way through a new part of town, my son was whining in the backseat and I said under my breath, “5 more days until daddy gets home.” 

I dont want to live my life waiting for his return (although, Chris has reminded me time and time again that it’s healthy and good that we miss our men) so I’m trying to make the days count. I want to do this stay-at-home-mom thing wholeheartedly and make my time with my son count. I want to make my few days with my husband count, too. It doesn’t do us any good to count the days.

What about you, road widows new and old?  Do you count the days until your road warrior comes home? (Do you sometimes count the days until he leaves?) How do you make the days – when he’s gone and when he’s home – count? 

Five on Friday: Signs that your kid has a musician father

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5. They know they name of every instrument. Possibly even the difference between a viola and a violin.

4. Most of their toys and clothing are rock star themed (and most of it was purchased by well-meaning and supportive friends and family).

3. They own a pair of these. Just in case they ever get to stay up late enough to see one of dad’s shows.

2. They can headbang and throw up a rock fist better than most of our husband’s fans!

1. They are mostly unphased when daddy is leaving – or gone – but SO excited when he returns.

Fatherhood

It’s important to stop and think about what the men in our lives are going through, especially those with kids. I recently watched The Other F Word, a documentary about fatherhood as a rock musician, and I highly recommend it. You’ll get a first hand look at fatherhood from front men of Pennywise, Blink-182, Black Flag, Red Hot Chili Peppers and many more.

Here’s a trailer and some quotes from the film…

“As my older son turns into a little boy it’s just tough being gone. The late night phone calls when he’s said and wants me to come home. That’s the hard part.” – Josh Freese, Nine Inch Nails/ Devo/ Offspring/ Vandals

“It’s hard to be home and to turn that element off” – Tony Hawk, pro skater

“I grew up in a family full of yellers. People screaming and chaos goin’ on, I feel right at home in it. I’ve really worked on myself with anger management. I try to save that for the stage.” – Art Alexakis, Everclear

“[My daughter] is in a hoity toity private school. We hang out with her friends parents and, you know, they’re nice enough to us. They’re all so boring though!” – Fat Mike, NOFX

“[Touring] is killing everybody. If you’re gonna count on record sales? It’s over.” – Rob Chaos, Total Chaos

” A couple of the other guys in the band, they don’t have kids and they want to keep going. They want to go out there and rage and party and if you don’t have kids to consider that’s an easy decision.” – Jim Lindberg, Pennywise