My husband and I have barely seen each other all year. We have always been a couple that spends a lot of time together. We started dating in college. He lived down the hall and we took all the same classes. We’ve worked a few jobs together and we spent a year volunteering at a camp in France and never left each other’s side. So, when his music career started it was hard not having him around all the time. But on the other hand, I also felt like I’d gotten a few good years of spending plenty of (maybe too much?) time with him. So, since my husband has been on the road almost 150 days of 2014, I am definitely in the throes of a long-distance relationship! I’ve written a list of 5 ways to maintain a healthy long-distance relationship –
1. Communicate in some way every day, if possible. Since you won’t be seeing each other, it’s important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don’t always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies.
2. Work around each other’s schedule. Do your best to maintain communication, even if one of you gets busier than the other. If you are the busy one, warn your partner that you may have limited time, and try to send at least a quick email or text, or a share a brief phone call. If you are the not-as-busy person, take advantage of the time by picking up a new hobby, getting in shape, reading a new book, etc. Flexibility is very important.
3. Don’t hold back. Words are often all we have. Don’t be afraid to be mushy and sappy. Always say “I love you” and “I miss you”. It’s nice to hear.
4. Be invested. Invest in each other in every way possible. Pay attention! Stay focused during phone calls: turn off the TV and try not to have in-depth conversations while you’re driving or with other people, for instance. Try to remember where he is, what venues he’s playing, who he’s with. You can also keep track of your man on social media. Retweet their tweets and like their Facebook posts! Social media can make you feel like you’re with them so keep track of their band.
5. Lower your expectations. Sometimes he’s going to forget to send flowers. Sometimes you’re going to fall asleep before he calls to say goodnight. It’s inevitable: You’re going to fail each other. He’s going to miss birthdays and anniversaries and holidays. Discuss it if you need to, talk about your disappointment and then move on.
What else, ladies? How do you maintain a healthy relationship when your man is gone?