I used to hate my husbands job but something has miraculously changed. For the past two years, my husband has been in a touring band that plays 150 shows a year. For two years, I’ve told him that I hate his job, that I will never like it because I dont like it when he’s gone and I will never like being home alone. The latter might be true, I will never like being home alone, but I think I am starting to like my husband’s job and this could be very, very good for our future.
His transition from “weekend warrior” to full-time-touring-bass-player was not easy. It came at a very difficult time in my personal family life. I felt abandoned. On top of that, he was working constantly. I thought that this new life would allow us some free time but it certainly did not do that. When he wasn’t touring, his home job was booking shows. They had a manager but he wasn’t a booking agent so that was Dan’s job and he was obsessed with it. There were several times when I had to slam his laptop shut and beg him to stop.
His hard work has paid off and over time his band has gotten more popular so that the shows are coming to them instead of them
begging working to get shows. I started to notice that Dan had more time when he was home to do things around the house and have fun and it was so nice. Then, we got a baby a few months ago and life changed again. We’ve realized how desperately we need to slow down and cherish every giggle and developmental milestone. We’ve realized that our top priority is to give our son everything he needs and let him know that he’s in a safe home. We’ve also realized that Dan needs to keep working hard and plan for our future. So, I know that he does need to zone out in front of his laptop everyone once in a while. I need to be patient and realize that he’s come so far and the work he’s putting in now, between feedings and naptimes, will pay off one day when the band has more people working for them and Dan’s only job will be touring, playing bass, and writing songs.
I love having Dan home. We get to spend all day, every day together. It kind-of feels like we’re in college again only now we live together and have a baby… and bills…
I’ve realized that I’ve been taking Dan’s job for granted. All I was focused on was the time that he was gone. Yes, he’s gone a lot and I will probably never like that but I have to remind myself that I see him more than I did when we were both in the same town working regular, full-time jobs. I love getting to spend so much time with him. So, I guess that I like being a road widow… for the parts when I’m not actually a road widow. And this new leaf is bound to make our lives a lot easier and our marriage even better.